Swiss Army Wife

I don't know if you have one of these, technically neither do I... Not yet. There's pretty much nothing Antonia doesn't do to not only keep herself busy and active, but to bring in a little bit more money.

She's a Personal Trainer with some highly amusing clients, some of them pretty much pay her to just go through, do a little excercise and mainly have a nice long chat. She also works at a garden centre cafe on the Ashdown Forest and is loved by all there. Not only that but after work all day she comes back home and cleans some of the local office's in the village we live in. During the spring months she also helps out one of the local farmers in his Lambing efforts, bringing little bounding bundles of future Sunday Dinners out into the world.

Somehow she still finds time to do the washing, pick me up from the station, tinker in the garden and make dinner. Quite simply, she is a legend and i would be lost without her. In ref to the last post, as i am now being picked up from the station. It all went well and i am now working at Psychic TV. The hours are friendlier and to be fair getting up at 05:32 in the morning isn't so bad, it beats driving through Streatham and Brixton at any time. The latest shift at Psychic finishes at 03:00 and on one day a week at 04:00. Since i can be home 1 hour later, that doesn't offend me so much as when i was getting home at 07:10. At least now i can still technically get up at 10:00 having had enough sleep to not just 'zombie it' through the following day.

I have picked up my camera again and have started snapping once more. I feel i have the time to do this now. The team i now work with are very pro-active in outside projects, a few have just finished some very promising documentaries here's a trailer for 'If They Were Heard' by Ben Gorman.

I agreed to shoot a festival the other day one of my village acquaintances was organising. It seemed like a good opportunity to get back into the swing of things after so long. The following are some of my favourites. I shall be uploading some backdated photos in the next blog, feel free to get in touch if you like any or want me to come round and photograph you naked... What? Who said that?

Fire-Chain and nearly a full clock face.

A lot of consideration for fire safety was taken into

account as thousands of pounds worth of tech was

placed on bales of straw.

Easily my favourite shot was taken at about 01:55 using a

Fish-Eye lens on 30 second exposure.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

It doesn't look like there is a job available anymore in the Psychic department. I guess that means i'll have to pack up my knapsack and move on, there's nothing left for me here now.

Things you need to enjoy your job:
-Autonomy (that is, you have some say in what you do day to day)
-Complexity (so it's not mind-numbing repetition)
-Connection Between Effort and Reward (i.e. you actually see the awesome results of your hard work).

I can't tick any of the above and that, coupled with pretty much being regarded as insignificant, frequently ignored or forced to repeat myself countless times. Needless to say change is needed, at this point i would even go and work in a Game store, just to have a regular income, albeit pitiful and a fresh change. While that is lowering my standards exponentially. It will at least be stress free, at times here i feel like i may harm myself or others... it's just a good thing i have a girlfriend and a reason to live and more importantly i DON'T have access to an M16 Assault Rifle.

I've been in this situation before, whether it's with a girl, a situation, a job and the solution is pretty simple. State your concerns, try to remedy, make others aware of your intentions and throw the results at each of the aforementioned processes and see where you're at. Or to look at it another way.... If the bad times outweigh the good, the party's over. While i would love to just walk out i don't think the choice would stand me in good stead, but on the flip side why should i give a shit.

I've made a lot of friends here, not to mention two department heads who i've known nearly all of my life. After three long years of doing night shifts, maybe it is time to move on. It just seems a shame to throw away the knowledge and relationships i've built up here. While the job isn't exactly taxing and it's nowhere near as complicated or involving as some of my previous jobs i have had. It has lost the 'quality' it used to have. When we were making something of the television we were putting out. Theming a show, making it fun and different for all involved. Now it's just about pathetic repetition and saving money (while at the same time wasting money by having too many people on at once and making working conditions unbearable for a majority). Oh well, C'est la vie. We all move on, it's just a matter of when. I'm pretty much resigned to resignation now. What i'll actually do i have no idea but i do know it's better to get a new job before leaving your current one. While a career change at 30 is probably not advisable, it seems the only course of action for me, it's either that or do what everybody seems to do in this industry and just go to a rival channel. Of course that won't help with the whole point of this excercise in exodus which was essentially to get a day job so i could spend more time with Antonia and hopefully get some semblance of a normal life back. Be able to see my friends without rushing about on my only time off and for once in nearly 15 years find out what this 'Weekend' thing is i keep hearing so much about.